Wouldn’t it be great if we were able to positively embrace all personality traits? Well, we can if we understand how to best leverage some of what I call the darker sides of personality traits. Here’s what I mean.
I remember attending a parent meeting with my daughter’s second grade teacher, who described my daughter as “spicy!” My first thought was, “Oh my gosh, what the heck does that mean and what the heck are we going to have to do to fix this?”
It wasn’t until I left the meeting, and had time to reflect on what was said, that I realized what her teacher said was actually a compliment (even if that was not her intent.)
I thought to myself, that spiciness is going to serve her well in this world. She isn’t going to let people push her around and she is going to live life with gusto! Awesome!
I’m happy to report I was right. That eight year-old has turned into a successful young lady who is taking the world by storm!
No doubt, you’ve got some “spicy” people on your team. They have a mind of their own, they don’t always follow directions, they push back, when you wish they’d just agree. At times they give you indigestion, but you wouldn’t trade them for the world, as these people are your out-of-the box thinkers. Your team needs to be stirred up every now and again. They challenge you to be a better leader.
It’s interesting to me how so many traits that we tend to admire are seen as negatives by others. I was reminded of that when I was meeting with a client last week. He shared a story with me about a manager who told him he was too nice, so he stopped being so nice, only to be told several years later by a new manager that people found him unfriendly. The poor guy couldn’t catch a break!
Here are some other examples of negative personality traits that can be viewed as positive, if you just look at things from a different angle.
- Nice can be passive or unassertive, which is negative or kind which is a positive trait.
- Strong-willed can mean stubborn, which has a negative connotation or it can be viewed as persistence, which is positive.
- Sensitive people are thought to be easily upset, which is negative and being caring and empathic can be seen as positive.
- People who are honest can be seen as brutal or insensitive or someone who is communicative and trustworthy, which is positive.
- Those who are loyal can be viewed as negative when someone tolerates bad behavior or positive when they are perceived as devoted and faithful.
The point here is that any trait can be a double-edged sword: In some contexts, it can be a strength, and in others, a weakness.
It’s all how you look at things, which is why I’m encouraging you to err on the side of positivity!
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