There are lots of ways to describe stand-out leaders. It goes without saying that leading with empathy contributes to success for today’s top brass. But what if adding two other unlikely bedfellows to the mix could help you shine from the crowd and build a stronger career. One is fearlessness—the ability to go against the grain and stick your neck out. The other is the ability to harness your anger and use its strength to lead your team without becoming a maniacal jerk.
5 Tips On How To Be A Fearless Leader
“Curiosity and fear can’t co-exist,” states Dr. Rebecca Heiss, founder of icueity—a 360-review app and self-awareness tool that gives users continuous, valuable and anonymous feedback from people they trust that confirms or contradicts what they believe to be true about themselves. Heiss says to be an effective leader you must be a fear(less) one, and she ought to know. She’s the author of INSTINCT and a stress physiologist and evolutionary biologist who empowers the current and next generation of leaders to live more fear(less) lives. Heiss shared with me the following five tips on how to establish your “IT” factor and stand-out in a fear(less) career:
1) Fall off the bicycle. “Remember how thrilling it was to get on a bike for the first time, even though you knew the chances of falling were fairly high?” She asks. “We got on anyway, took a few falls and have been riding ever since. You need to approach professional opportunities with this same mindset—regardless of how big or little that opportunity might be. Don’t be intimidated to speak up at the next meeting, present a unique idea or offer to take the lead on a project because you haven’t mastered your craft. Keep trying new things and keep falling off the bike. Often the best solutions to complex problems are brought to the table by complete non-experts (and to that end, everyone is a non-expert. If people look like they aren’t falling off of any bikes they probably aren’t trying to ride anything new).”
2) Boost others. “Our brains believe the world is a scarce and dangerous place, which is why so often you see intense competition and cutthroat behaviors in the workplace,” the author explains. “The reality is, we live in a deeply connected, safe and abundant environment where there are plenty of resources for everyone. To have a fearless career, be sure you are constantly praising those around you. It is equally as important that you get that same praise in return, so consider getting a ‘brag buddy’—someone who lifts you up, celebrates your accomplishments, reminds you of your worth and encourages you. You’ll soon watch the rising tide raise all ships.”
3) Say no. Heiss states that, “We often feel obligated to say ‘yes’ to tasks that distract us from our bigger goals,.” And quoting Warren Buffett, she adds, ‘The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.’ Don’t be afraid to set and hold boundaries to keep you focused on the tasks and goals that are most important to you. You’ll ultimately be more respected for it and will have less chance of burnout from trying to manage everything.”
4) Have adventures rather than ordeals. “Lean into the stress. Too often, people try to minimize or avoid stressful circumstances but in fact, they’re doing themselves a disservice,” she advises. “What research shows is that people who have the most stressful lives also report having the most meaningful and purposeful ones. Rather than trying to avoid stress (which, let’s face it, is unavoidable), try to change your relationship with it so that you see a challenge rather than a threat, and an adventure rather than an ordeal. Your life and career will have more meaning as a result.”
5) Consider the cost of inaction. “We’re quite good at predicting and measuring the costs of our actions,” she reminds us. “‘I might look foolish. I might fail. I might be rejected.’ Too often what we neglect to measure are the costs of our inactions—how us not showing up or asking the question ultimately costs us more than any cost of action. Go big and play all-in. Regrets are far more painful and offer no lessons to grow.”
How Anger Can Make You A Fearless Leader
“If you want to lead without fear, you must be willing to address those emotions that can make a leader feel, well, not in complete and perfect control of everything happening,” according to Scott K. Edinger. A business growth consultant for clients such as Lenovo, Marriott and Avne, he has an unorthodox approach to successful leadership. Edinger believes there’s a way for strong leaders to use anger effectively. “To be a fearless leader, at times you’ll need to be an aggressive one,” he told me by email. “What prevents you from crossing the line into maniacal is the focus on using the ‘negative emotion’ as a tool to galvanize rather than intimidate.”
Edinger, the author of The Growth Leader: Strategies to Drive the Top and Bottom Lines, explains that too many leaders over-index on their expressions of anger and frustration without being more thoughtful or strategic about how to use them to advance their goals. “If a leader is going to make an impact and inspire individuals, teams or even entire companies, they have to be able to make emotional connections,” he says. “That includes anger and figuring out how to use it productively.” The author poses a few questions leaders can ask to get strategic about their anger and transform it into energy and drive:
- “Am I angry, or is there something else I’m feeling?”
- “If you answer, ‘I’m just angry!’ try coming up with a couple of other options. Afraid? Distressed? Worried? About what?”
- “How can I express myself in a composed way so I motivate productive action?”
“If a leader can talk about what’s fueling their anger in a professional way while using the intensity of the emotion to capture their team’s attention they can create gravity and motivate improvements.” Edinger notes. “Sharing your disappointment can lead to better trust if you allow the anger to convey your severity and then engage your employees in solving the problem with you rather than leaving them to fix the mistake on their own. You can push for results and be firm or demanding in your tone—don’t shy away from it! It can create a sense of urgency or a short term burst of energy to complete an important project, meet a deadline or drive a critical result. That’s the difference between being a leader only focused on results and a leader who applies healthy pressure to get the best out of their team,” he concludes.
Back to Dr. Rebecca Heiss’s quote, “Curiosity and fear cannot co-exist,” I would add that neither can curiosity and anger co-exist. In fact, there are ten C-words that describe high-minded leaders and top performers that cannot co-exist with our evolutionary survival reactions like anger, fear, anxiety and worry. Those C-words are: curiosity, calm, clarity, connection, compassion, confidence, courage, creativity, comedy and celebration. These C-qualities play a starring role of imbuing leaders with an “IT” factor that opens doors, makes them stand out and helps them excel in their careers.
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