Trigger warning: discusses suicide prevention.
In an effort to raise awareness around National Suicide Prevention Month, Jessica Abo sat down with several entrepreneurs and mental health advocates to learn their stories and what they’re doing to save lives. If you or someone you know is struggling, call the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text, or chat by going to 988lifeline.org/chat.
Tom Coverly’s Story
With tears streaming down her face, a high school girl approached Tom Coverly after one of his school assemblies. She had written a suicide note the night before and the sole reason she came to school was to secretly say goodbye to her friends. She shared she wanted to die because of relentless bullying about the way she looks. But after listening to Coverly’s talk, she told him she wanted to live and believed she really does have a purpose in this life. “Her mom came with her to the evening family show and had that suicide note crumbled in her hand. It was a hug from that mom, I will never forget the rest of my life as she thanked me for speaking at her child’s school.”
This story isn’t the only one of its kind. Coverly has many memories of kids coming up to him, suicide note in hand. To date, the motivational speaker, professional magician, and TV host has spoken live on stage for more than five million people all over America. Through his company, One Goal Productions, which he co-founded with his wife, he uses entertainment to share a message of hope. He speaks in schools for suicide prevention school assemblies and offers mental health seminars for police departments, corporate events and educators.
His Signature Talk
Coverly’s school assembly “Destroy Illusions” (DestroyIllusionsTour.com) has become one of the most requested assemblies for middle and high school students. They also have an assembly geared for elementary school kids called, “Be a Hero” that addresses respect and kindness. “The one hour school assembly starts off gaining students attention with lots of comedy, audience participation and magic tricks. The remainder of the assembly is about destroying the illusions students are believing and replacing them with truth/reality. At night, we invite students, parents and the community back at night for a FAMILY NIGHT. This is a one hour comedy magic show with a closing message for people of all ages to bring unity to a community.”
While Coverly typically charges for his school assembly, he waives his fee when a school is in an immediate crisis. “When their is a suicide in a school and a school reaches out asking us to come, for years I vowed to put my wallet where my mouth is and we go for free,” he says. “I donate my time and I fly and speak in that school that is hurting. We are able to do this because of amazing human beings who donate and support our nonprofit by texting the words, ‘KINDNESS WINS’ to 44321.”
How He Found His Purpose
At his events, he asks this question to people of all ages: Think back to your childhood. How many of you remember someone hurting you with words, and you never forgot it to this day? Reality is, words hurt for a long time. At 50 years old, I can still remember being bullied in middle school like it was yesterday. I was the verbal, and many times, physical punching bag for my bully who made jokes about me being poor and not able to afford name brand clothes; too skinny; pimples; and my ears being too big,” he says. “The sad part is, I began to believe the illusions and lies he told me, allowing his words to define me. I began to feel worthless and I had no value.”
Coverly shared he tried to take his own life twice and is committed to making sure no one ever feels that pain he did. He breaks down everything into two parts: illusions/lies and truth/reality.
“For example, an illusion/lie a child might believe is ‘no one will miss me if I am gone.’ Another might be ‘I’m ugly and have no value.’”
During the assembly, Coverly combats these lies and illusions by reminding students of reality and truth. “I ask who, ‘loves you the most?’ Oftentimes, the answer will be mom, dad, grandparent etc. The students then begin to realize the truth is that they would be missed if they gave up on this gift of life.” When it comes to self image, he talks to students about the time he briefly met Cindy Crawford and they discussed his school assembly. “She said that she wishes she looked like the cover of the magazines she has been on. I remind the students I meet that even a supermodel wishes she could change things about herself because she knows how long she was in the studio with thousands of photos taken of her and how much editing goes into a beauty magazine cover.”
Coverly says he hopes his programs continue to reach more schools, so he can teach students the standard for beauty is not set by the media, or their bully, but by who they really are. “And they are perfect the way they are,” he says.
He adds if you, or someone you know is suicidal, “please dial 988.” If you would like more information about Coverly’s school assembly or you would like to donate visit www.TomCoverly.com or www.DestroyIllusionsTour.com.
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