Sheila Rubin was cruel, primarily to herself. She was also unkind to those around her. But if you were a fan of the Apple TV+ series Physical, you rooted for her to get to the bottom of her self-loathing and highly judgmental critical thinking because you knew that, at its core, there was pain. As the saying goes, hurt people hurt people.
Physical was a brilliant series about how women see themselves, view their bodies, and treat themselves. Rose Byrne was phenomenal as Sheila. She deserved awards attention that didn’t come. Her performance was raw, dark, and unabashedly honest.
The series, created by Annie Weisman, was an overlooked masterpiece that flew under the radar for three seasons and 30 flawless episodes. Weisman took risks in her storytelling. She made her directorial debut this season with the second to last episode.
Set in 1980s San Diego, this dark comedy followed Sheila as she aimed to change women’s lives with aerobics. The viewer was privy to her every thought as we eavesdropped on her inner voice, which was relentless. Her cutting words narrated and drove the story.
Fans stuck by her as she tried to find a way to quiet this part of her psyche, but her self-hatred wouldn’t be silenced. This wife, mother and soon-to-be fitness entrepreneur would eventually find a way to move beyond her demons, haunting childhood trauma and overall dissatisfaction with her life. However, the journey would be rife with challenges.
Many speculated that Jane Fonda was the inspiration for Sheila. In separate interviews, Weisman and Stephanie Laing, who directed 24 episodes, each confirmed that Sheila was an amalgamation of many women of that era.
“Jane Fonda inspired us, among others. We looked at a lot of people in the 80s, and I can’t tell you how many workout videos we watched as research over the life of the series,” said Laing. “Sheila embodies all of them and our personal experience with the main issue of the series.”
Though superb in its telling, Physical was sometimes hard to watch, possibly because many women can relate to that inner relentlessly scathing voice. Weisman wrote Physical several years ago and based much of the story on her life growing up in the late 1970s/early 1980s in a Southern California beach town near San Diego. As a longtime TV writer, she knew what it took to sell a script. She also knew this story was very unique.
“I just wanted to get to something honest and true about my own experience as a female in the world,” said Weisman. “I wanted to explore all these contradictions in this world of Southern California fitness culture that I grew up in and the differences between the surface and the reality.”
Weisman set the story in this era because it was the beginning of the workout craze at a time when women craved freedom and independence. “Divorce was on the rise. Women were still very limited in their options. It was also a time when exercise was considered to be a radical thing. The idea of sweating or being strong, there were these women who were starting to do it. And starting a business around it? It was the beginning of when that was even conceivable for a woman to do.”
Weisman felt it was her mission to give credit to the pioneers of the exercise movement. “It was risky for the women who started this industry. There was so much backlash.”
Weisman also wanted to showcase another kind of female power. “I wanted to show the possibilities of recovery for someone in mid-life. I needed to talk about eating disorders as not just something that occurs in adolescence. There are waves of this that happen to women throughout their lives. In mid-life, marriage doesn’t cure it. Being a mom doesn’t fix it. It’s still true, more so now than ever.”
Though Weisman acknowledges that there’s more body inclusivity today, she says there’s still a bombardment of images of female bodies and discussions about female bodies that we’re subjected to. “We tried to be realistic about what recovery is. You don’t have to get to a place of constant self-love. For me, recovery looks like something more realistic, which is to say, you can look in the mirror and not always like what you see but have better things to do with your life than to obsess about it. That, to me, is the goal.”
Weisman reflected on the era. “Judi Sheppard Missett was starting Jazzercise right around the corner from me. There was also Jenny Craig, who was from my hometown, starting her diet empire. This idea of women who could create an entrepreneurial avenue for themselves was all beginning at the time.”
On its surface, Physical looks like a fun show with its 80s soundtrack and fashion. It’s so much more layered. Weisman summed it up best. “It’s about women and how we view ourselves, speak to ourselves, and treat ourselves.”
As for inviting the audience in regarding Sheila’s every dark thought, Weisman had the idea of sharing her innermost feelings in a daring way. Byrne took on this acting challenge and nailed it in every episode with bone-chilling voiceovers.
“What was really at the core of our storytelling was that contradiction between the surface and what was inside. It’s a creative representation of that divide that many of us feel. It was how I represented how disconnected I often felt,” Weisman confessed.
We heard Sheila loud and clear. She was as harsh on herself as she was on others. She struggled with her body, had an unhealthy relationship with food, and felt trapped in her life. Her issues remain relatable today.
Of the lack of awards attention, which was surprising due to the show’s sharp writing and flawless acting, Laing suspects the subject matter might have triggered some viewers. “I don’t think viewers expected a woman’s inner voice to be so critical and harsh. That might have put some people off because that’s hard to face, right? If you’re not used to that, it’s like, ‘Is that real? Do women talk and think about themselves like that and in that way?’ And the truth is, ‘Yes.’ If you expected this would be this fun 80s music and aerobics show, that’s not what it is. It’s an intense show about a complex woman with many issues.”
These issues are why Laing felt it was urgent to tell Sheila’s story. “This is a show about women and body issues and living up to standards in the 80s to today. You could change the wardrobe, and this show would feel very current. It probably is hard for people to watch if they’re not ready to recognize some things about themselves. I think it affects so many women.”
It was also a celebratory series as we see the payoff for Sheila and those in her life. She finds freedom, and so do those around her. “That’s what I hope people take from the series, too, that we should be celebrating our bodies and embracing ourselves,” added Laing. “If there’s any way this series can help people with that, then that’s what we want. And then, of course, bringing attention to disordered eating and intrusive thoughts about that.”
Physical was also a show about female friendship. We meet Sheila at a transitional time in her life. She met Dierdre Friel’s Greta, who, on the surface, appeared to be her polar opposite. But these two women had so much more in common than either could’ve imagined.
Rory Scovel, Ian Gomez, Lou Taylor Pucci, Della Saba, and Paul Sparks rounded out this fabulous ensemble cast. Murray Bartlett, Whitney Cummings, and Zooey Deschanel also guest-starred over the seasons.
As for the finale, Weisman and Laing both said the aim was to send a hopeful message. Laing confirmed that, for now, this is where we bid farewell to Sheila and her inner circle. If they were to pick the story up in the future, they’d likely explore recovery, which is a long road for Sheila. “For now, she’s free. Sheila is accepting of her body. All the characters are in a good place. Everyone has a sense of hope for the future.”
Weisman agreed. “We tried very hard to tell this story honestly. We hope people watched the finale and felt a sense of hope.”
It’s a challenging topic, dissecting women’s issues with their bodies. “One of the thrills of making this show was to dance up to that edge and tell the truth,” said Weisman. “When you do that, it’s risky. Some viewers might be afraid to watch. Not everybody is ready to look at themselves. I certainly wasn’t. It took me decades to even write this and tell the truth about my own experiences, so I’m certainly sympathetic to that point of view.”
Ultimately, Weisman gave Sheila and the viewers a satisfying ending. “I felt a responsibility to be authentic about the sacrifices it took to get that ending for her. I wanted to leave her in that place. So much time and energy go into an eating disorder. I wanted to show that recovery is available at any age and that there is a lot of freedom in letting go.”
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