This is the best Black Friday purchase I ever made — and I’ve made a few

I used to have AirPods, Apple’s dainty wireless earbuds, but I inadvertently left my last pair on a table at a cafe in the Marais. I tracked those $250 AirPods across several arrondissements through my iPhone’s Find My app. The earbuds had a merry jaunt on the Paris subway before ending up in Sacré Cœur. It was not lost on me that the dastardly thief ended their journey in a place called “Sacred Heart.” For that reason, I forgave rather than cursed them.

Last year, I purchased another “hot” Black Friday item: a robot vacuum cleaner. I didn’t go for the Roomba. Instead, I chose a $220 Eufy RoboVac at a discounted price of $120, excluding tax. It cleans hardwood floors, and was marketed as having strong suction and quiet performance. The latter claim didn’t hold up: If it were featured in a robot-vacuum-turned-evil episode of “Black Mirror,” you would hear it coming. But it’s the best Black Friday purchase I ever made.

While those 2021 AirPods found a new life in Paris, and my $100 Nike sneakers from Black Friday 2020 never quite fit well enough for running, my slightly sinister robot vacuum — my friend’s Jack Russell terrier barks at it and chases it around the house, believing it to be some kind of dust-vanquishing demonic interloper — has kept me free from dust bunnies, and provided endless hours of entertainment as I watch it trying to hobble over the thresholds between rooms.

I’m fascinated by what the most popular purchases of our multiple shopping lollapaloozas say about us as a nation. Amazon Prime Day last July was a showcase of cat treats, Fire TV Sticks, Melissa & Doug toys and Liquid I.V. packets, revealing our love of convenience, connection, cord cutting, children and, yes, cats. Black Friday is more of a mixed bag: We want cheap stuff, lots of it, and we feel like we’re winning when we spend money on “wants” — as long as we snag a discount.  

This year, I won’t be making any Black Friday purchases because my robot vacuum has filled the impulse-shopping void for the time being. If I divide the cost of the item by the 24 cleanings it’s done thus far, that works out to $5 per clean. Plus, people waste too much money on this made-up shopping holiday — an average of $25,000 over a lifetime, according to a recent analysis by Moneyzine. That money could pay down your student loans, or buy you a Dodge Charger SXT.

So what does my favorite Black Friday purchase say about me, the Moneyist, a person who makes his living giving people financial advice? I don’t need a lot. The older I get, the more time I spend getting rid of clothes, gadgets, books and trinkets. The less stuff I own, the easier it is for the robot vacuum to do its job. I am lightening the load. I don’t have a TV or an Apple Watch. I can tell the time with my watch and watch the last season of Netflix’s
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“The Crown” on my laptop. 

I’m easily amused by primitive technology like a robot vacuum. I’m a tech rube, a hybrid hick, an analog aficionado and a late adopter. For instance, I have 10 very good reasons I will never buy Apple’s
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$3,500 VR headset — chief among them the $3,500 price tag, which is double the median monthly mortgage payment in the United States. But there’s something about the animated robot vacuum that gives me boundless amusement. I am intrigued as much by its limitations navigating furniture as I am by its abilities. 

The robot makes housekeeping more fun, and I can break out the Clorox wipes while it’s whizzing around doing its thing. It’s a cool piece of technology that actually does something practical around the house. There have been many studies looking at the relationship between mental health and cleaning. It’s difficult to say what comes first: a healthy mind or a clean house. But some psychologists suggest cleaning can help reduce anxiety, stress and depressive symptoms. 

Maybe that’s why, one year later, I still get a thrill when I open it up and see all that lovely dust. 

Related: Black Friday is for suckers — here’s why