Maria Tedesco, President and Chief Operating Officer at Atlantic Union Bank.
Earlier this year, I was involved in a casual discussion about the all-female Blue Angels team that flew overhead before the start of this year’s Super Bowl. One person referred to these distinguished pilots as “girls.” I couldn’t hold back my frustration at how one simple word seemed to immediately diminish their hard work. Instead of just letting it pass, I spoke up. “Well, actually, they’re not girls . . . they are a group of strong women, and they had to break many barriers to get their positions.”
Whether piloting a jet or leading a Fortune 500 company, many successful women do not garner the same recognition or respect as their male counterparts. It happens in so many small but significant ways. Using the Super Bowl as another example: There was more talk about halftime show performer Rihanna’s pregnancy than there was about her $2.8 billion-dollar company, Fenty Beauty (known for advocating for women of all types), or her 60-million album units and 215-million digital tracks sold worldwide. Often, it’s a seemingly innocent comment like the example above and the resulting media coverage of a female performer that perpetuates why women have to face so many obstacles in their careers. It’s likely the result of pre-wired programming that has existed for ages.
I want be a part of undoing that programming. While my small pushback during that brief exchange may seem minor, it’s important. Championing women—at work, at home, in casual conversations—is something that needs to happen often and in small, medium and big ways.
One of the easiest ways is to simply speak up. Something as simple as a calling attention to a word or a phrase can make a small but important shift. Change can’t happen unless we speak up at every opportunity to create a tsunami of small shifts.
Breaking Down Barriers
By not taking any action, we inadvertently support the programming. I grew up in an environment where there were certain things that women were taught to not say or do. There were expectations that we remained in the background. My desire to help other women grew as a result of me questioning these “standards.” As I navigated my career in banking, that desire grew into a passion to help empower women to speak up and remove those barriers we were taught. I want women to feel comfortable and worthy of asking for a raise or promotion or for having a different opinion than the group.
Learned behavior and expectations of women are generational and are still strong in the working world. It’s necessary to instill a sense of empowerment in younger generations, especially those in the workplace. Helping them create space to share their ideas is one simple way. Encouraging participation in, or even creating, DEI groups is another. I believe that using the memories of some of our own experiences to lead efforts that dismantle those expectations is one of the strongest ways. Using your knowledge to create new behaviors and expectations can be monumental.
Evolving How Women Treat Other Women
Early in my career, I noticed women felt they couldn’t always support other women. With limited leadership opportunities, they had to view one another as competition. I took a different approach: I found a confidante in a female colleague who was just as driven as me. We developed a code word, and we would meet whenever one of us used it at work. We’d share tough but necessary constructive feedback to help each other improve. By providing pure, unadulterated honesty, we helped not just ourselves but also each other. We needed each other as the few female leaders in our company. Because of our mutual support, we entered the C-suite early in our careers.
Similar to speaking up, lifting each other is something we can do in any situation at any time. In today’s climate, I see women banding together, and we need more of it. Providing unexpected recognition, supporting a colleague’s work or simply sharing experiences—whatever form it takes—we must be there to elevate women. Change starts from within, and while we cannot control the entire world, we can control how we react to it and conduct ourselves. We owe it to ourselves and to all women to be advocates, not adversaries.
The Role Of Men
John Asbury, CEO of the bank where I work, did something that has never been done before in his organization; he named me president and COO. This strategic move reinforced for me that in some cases, women’s capabilities are seen and recognized professionally; we just need to network and align ourselves with the right people. John saw me for who I was; he saw me as a capable leader.
Men are a necessary part of the solution. We need to embrace those who already get it, and we can guide the others to see us for what we’re capable of. They, too, are our advocates. Whether it is mentoring or sponsoring women in the workplace, having them engage us as integral components in the workplace helps advance women in our careers.
Where We Go From Here
I want women to know that we do not have to accept the negative programming that exists for us. Unconscious gender bias is still a significant reason for women’s lack of advancement in the workplace. While we need others to help us along the way, it begins with us. As women, we have a responsibility to each other to help undo the obstacles placed before us.
We should encourage, enable and respect each other to pursue goals, speak up and create space. Using our voices to enact change is helpful for all women, no matter how small one person’s effort may seem. It all makes a difference. So the next time there’s casual conversation about an amazing achievement like the Blue Angels pilots, consider how you can be a part of the transformation.
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