Hayley Hasselhoff’s first modeling job, at age 14, was a swimsuit shoot on the roof of a hotel off Melrose, a spot she frequently drives by today.
“It was with two of the biggest curve models of the time and I remember looking at those girls, they were in their early 20s at the time,” she says. “And I was like, ‘They’re voluptuous, they’re fit, they’re toned, they’re gorgeous.’ And it started to make me feel like I had something to aspire to look like. That I didn’t have to conform to what everyone else said you had to be.”
Since her earliest memories, the model, actor, designer and podcast host has been comfortable in her own skin and has been sharing her perspective and experiences to help others feel comfortable in theirs. In recent years, she’s stepped more strongly into the role of advocate, explicitly connecting the dots between body positivity and mental wellness.
“I always felt there was something missing when I was talking about body image. I was so in a place of body acceptance—because if you’re not in a pace of acceptance than you are resisting all the opportunities that could be open to you—but the connection between body image and mental health is so powerful,” she says.
Born into the Hollywood establishment—her father is “Baywatch” and “Knight Rider” star David Hasselhoff—Hasselhoff got her own early introduction to the world of modeling and television, playing her first role as a character who experienced body dysmorphia on the 2010 show “Huge.” Despite the stereotypical trappings of the industry, she developed a positive relationship with her body and its curves that developed sooner than many of her peers.
“I always knew at a very young age I had to take care of me for me. What affected my relationship with my body was really the love I had towards myself and an understanding that the person Hayley knows she is, is so much more valuable than how her body is going to develop over time,” she says.
Still, Hasselhoff notes that “all the work I was creating from a very young age was very body-focused. A lot of the conversations were very body-focused and in the press it was always very body-focused.
“It was always a battle to convince [journalists]—and it was mind-blowing to them—that someone could love themselves shamelessly no matter what shape or size they were. It was throwing the ball back and forth. It was never like, ‘That’s great!’ It was, ‘Wow, how could you love yourself?’ And, ‘How many days a week do you work out?’”
There are anecdotes about interactions among some of her peers, too. Hasselhoff recalls quitting the school swim team after older girls on the team began bullying her because she wore a bra before they did. She talks about sitting with her mom in the office of weight loss Dr. Robert Atkins as an adolescent and hearing something along the lines of, “You don’t want to grow up fat and the way you are headed this is your only choice,” she says. “My mom took me by the hand and basically told him he lost all respect from her as it was apparent he didn’t know how to talk to a child who was still growing.”
She remembers when she began to sew her own clothes—“Growing up I always redesigned pieces and cut things up to fit my body. I had the means to do it and the privilege, but I wanted the quality fabrics to lie the right way on my figure so I would have to make them to fit me,” she says—and first developed her love for sensual fabrics.
“Even though I was bullied and there were different periods of my life where I was categorized by my size—and I can pinpoint those and they were hurtful and they were hard—I don’t look at those years as defining my relationship with my body. And now I always say to others, ‘Don’t let your body stop you from doing anything you want to do in your life just because somebody else has a different opinion about you,’” Hasselhoff says.
But even armed with a strong sense of self-worth, Hasselhoff didn’t entirely escape struggles with her emotional and mental health. She says she’s experienced anxiety most of her life, which erupted into a short period of panic attacks when she was in her 20s. The experience made her curious about what baggage she might be carrying from childhood and spurred her to become more involved in her own mental health and supporting the mental health of others.
“Why I think I’ve become such a passionate person talking about mental health is because there is such a strong relationship between mental health and body image. It all starts with our daily practice. And truthfully not being judgmental on the days when you are not OK, and living in a state of acceptance and validation so you can process and little by little you’ll start to see the light again,” she says.
“My story with body positivity and mental health, with advocacy, has always been there. I just haven’t [called it] that. Whenever people would say to me, ‘You’re so confident,’ I’d say, ‘No. I’m so connected.’ I would say that even at 15 years old. I’m connected to my being; I’m connected to who I am.”
Last year, Hasselhoff got another reason to believe she’s on the right path promoting body positivity. She started working with the organization Choose Mental Health that introduced her to several adolescent mental health programs in Utah.
“It was a beautiful experience for me to have the privilege to speak to these kids and share my story and listen to their stories. And to tell them, ‘You’re not different to me; you’re just getting help sooner than I did.’”
While visiting the programs, she remembered the concept of “swapping,” and how when she was younger she was influenced by her friends on how to cope with her pain when her peers, too, were struggling with pain of their own. “The programs had such close quarters, which allowed for more discussion, and the freedom to make friendships where you could feel like you could be honest. She asked the head of staff at each facility about what they believe is the most learned method for residents to release pain while in treatment that they may not have known before.
“And at each one of these programs—and I went to full boys program, full girls programs and mixed programs—they said to me the No. 1 thing that gets swapped is eating disorders.”
Looking at perceptions of body image today, Hasselhoff says while there has been notable progress in some areas, others are less encouraging.
“There’s so much opportunity on the availability side—which is really important for girls and women and they and them just to feel represented with their size and that they are not excluded from being able to express themselves through fashion. But I will say, where we are today, there is a lot of conversation that we are going back to ‘heroin chic’ days and I have seen a lot of curve girls start to lose a lot of weight.
“That’s not a bad thing. I just did a press tour with a brand and I was trying to rewrite what body positivity is. You can love your body in the now, and you can also love your body if you have different aspirational health and wellness goals. What we’re not talking about is the evolution of self, and the evolution of a woman,” she says.
“We can grow, and our opinions can grow, and our health and wellness goals can grow. And our bodies can naturally develop. I mean we make babies for freak’s sake. They can naturally grow and change from one second to the next. And that’s why the perception of body image really needs to change.”
Mind Reading (formerly Hollywood & Mind) is a recurring column that lives at the intersection of entertainment and wellbeing, and features interviews with musicians, actor, creators and other culture influencers who are elevating the conversation around mental health.
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