You see that skinny blond dude in the glittery red suit in the picture at the top of this post? With the crap all over his face? Yeah, sorry about that. That’s Machine Gun Kelly (Colson Baker) who is a musician of sorts, who I first heard about when I was in Portland, Maine.
He was performing the night I got into town. I’d never heard of him before because I’m just not that cool, so I looked up his music and quickly decided that I’d rather descend into the depths of hell than pay to go to his concert. No offense.
Another act was playing that night: Ripe. We went to that show instead and it was awesome. I’d never heard of them before either, but they’re one of the most talented live-acts I’ve ever seen. (A song).
But I digress. My apologies. I’m getting to the point, I promise.
The Point
Recently, Nintendo announced that they’d be producing a live-action Legend Of Zelda movie, because apparently someone at the Japanese video game company has gone totally insane and forgotten about the wild success of the animated Super Mario Bros. Movie.
Zelda should absolutely get a movie or TV series, but that series should not be live-action. It should be animated. The magic of Hyrule, the heroics of our silent protagonist, Link, all the charm of the creatures and monsters that inhabit these games, will come to life in animation in ways that live-action will only squander.
I’m not picturing the CGI of Mario either. I’m imagining something more like Arcane on Netflix, or even a modern anime-style 2D production. Something spellbinding. Something where we don’t have to argue on Twitter about casting controversies.
Oh, and can you imagine the controversy that would unfurl if Machine Gun Kelly got his wish? “If I don’t play Link we have a problem,” the rap-rocker posted. Maybe his fiance, Megan Fox, could play a busty, dark-haired Zelda while we’re at it? (Click that link to People and you’ll see the two dressed up in these very costumes which they bedecked themselves in for Halloween last year).
Here’s another picture of the two. Hmmm.
The whole thing is a terrible idea, even though of course it’s infinitely unlikely that Kelly would get the role. Not everything needs to be a live-action adaptation. Even ones I’m excited about—like Avatar: The Last Airbender on Netflix—still make me nervous.
It’s perplexing. In an era where animation is more popular than ever, why not go that route? Nintendo excels at video games, and video games are much closer to animation than live-action. But maybe I’m alone in this. What do you think? Are you excited about a live-action Zelda? Or do you think animation would serve this franchise better? Let me know on Twitter or Facebook.
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