With October 10 being recognized as World Mental Health Day, it is the perfect time to reflect on your own well-being and take the necessary steps to improve your overall mindset and outlook on life. Actress and “Give an Hour” ambassador Stephanie Szostak is currently on a mission to help us all with our journey of self-discovery, through the release of her new, interactive book titled Selfish.
In the book, Szostak not only shares her own mental health journey, but she also shines a light on the stories of others, people who have volunteered to share their stories of inner-struggle, as well as helpful practices that have become beneficial in their lives.
Szostak told me, “This is a tool I created for my own emotional well-being – first professionally, because I really struggled with confidence and I learned a lot of tools. I got a lot of inspiration but my challenge was how do I remember it? How do I put it into action in my daily life and how when I’m struggling, how can I access it? Sports teams and athletes and businesses all have playbooks that help them focus, respond – be the best that they can be. I was like, ‘Why don’t we have playbooks for our own lives?’”
She added that she titled the book Selfish “because it was a little bit provocative and nobody wants to be seen as selfish, but my hope is that we realize that we all need a little bit of selfish time in the morning to focus on our well-being. When we do that, we can think better, feel better, do better and bring more of what we cherish and value to the world and those around us.”
Over the past five years, Szostak played Deliliah Dixon on the ABC hit series A Million Little Things (2018-2023), a mother and wife-turned-widow when her husband tragically decides to take his own life. On-set is where Szostak first met Dr. Barbara Van Dahlen of “Give an Hour,” a nonprofit organization dedicated to transforming mental health by building strong and healthy individuals and communities. Szostak said that Van Dahlen was a consultant to the writers on the series “to make sure the scripts depicted mental health in a sensitive and accurate manner.”
So, how did Szostak prepare for her acting role on A Million Little Things? “I read stories of people who were impacted by suicide – who had lost loved ones from suicide. I learned about grief and how that grief is very specific, and how it’s different from losing people in different circumstances. The show itself, what it was dealing with, was something that resonated with me from the get-go because I am passionate about mental health and the human condition as a whole, so it was a gift to be a part of a show that brought all those stories to the audience.”
She added, “The show is really a part of this book – it shows how ripple effects happen in life. I got this [A Million Little Things] job, I met this nonprofit and we put out something in the world for their audience. Then there’s a [Selfish] book and 50% of my proceeds are being donated to ‘Give an Hour.’”
For Szostak, her professional path was not always set on this creative trajectory. Born in France, Szostak studied business in college and graduated with a marketing degree. She moved to New York City when she was hired for a corporate cubicle job at Chanel. Then at the age of 29, Szostak decided to listen to the voice inside her head that was encouraging her to take her first-ever acting class. From there, she soon decided to pivot in her career and took a chance at making a living as a working actress.
For any of us in a new industry or trying something out of our comfort zone, “imposter syndrome” can certainly come into play. So, I wondered if Szostak felt any “imposter syndrome” herself during her early acting career, especially when working alongside acting titans like Meryl Streep, where she played her on-screen nemesis, Jacqueline Follet, in the 2006 film The Devil Wears Prada.
Szostak said, “Strangely enough, when I worked with Meryl Streep, because my role was so small, I didn’t have ‘imposter syndrome.’ I came from a place of I’m the underdog! For the first 10 years of my career, I was the underdog and that motivates me. Then all of a sudden, my door started opening up. Opportunity came knocking and that made me very uncomfortable. My first lead role in a big studio movie [Dinner for Schmucks (2010)], I was working with Paul Rudd and Steve Carell – and that’s really when it kicked in. I thought I wasn’t able to handle the pressure but what I realized later is I really didn’t have the mental tools to navigate a new environment – a bigger stage. I didn’t have the tools to manage my thoughts and emotions.”
Now following the Covid-19 pandemic, the ongoing news of wars continuing overseas and the advancing technologies with social media, I asked Szostak what it is about this time in our world that makes it that much more difficult for people to take care of their mental health.
Szostak said, “I heard a stat recently that within 15 minutes of waking up, most of us consume as much as information as we did 50 years ago in one week. The impact of that is that it’s harder and harder for us to focus on that which serves us well. We get distracted by the things we can’t control and sends us being overwhelmed by our emotions. I think this book will give you strategies to really focus on the things that are within your control and give you a tool to remind yourself everyday. If we remind ourselves everyday of what helps us think better, we can feel better, we can do better and we can be a lot better for those around us.”
Fortunately in 2023, it does feel like our society has come to embrace more of an open dialogue surrounding mental health, but there definitely seems to be room for improvement. So, what misconceptions about mental health does Szostak believe still exist within our society today?
Szostak said, “I think a lot of people, when they hear the words mental health, they equate it to mental illness, and I think that we all have mental health. It’s just like physical health – we can do things everyday for our own well-being, and if we don’t practice those things, it’s very easy to let our emotions take over. We live in a very busy world with our phones that have bombarded us 24/7 and I think more than ever, we need a framework to center ourselves and remind ourselves of what keeps us on-track.”
Beyond the many stories and tips that Szostak’s Selfish playbook offers its readers, it also gives the reader plenty of opportunities to write inside the book and reflect upon not only their struggles, but to also take a moment to list their greatest achievements, their daily wins and more.
Szostak said, “I hope that these strategies, these exercises will empower them on their journey of learning and growth, and that their playbook will give them the tools to practice daily mental fitness.”
For World Mental Health Day, I concluded my conversation with Szostak to see what message she might have for other individuals out there who are quietly struggling or seeking clarity and guidance, to be able to live a more full and happy life right now.
“I would say to anyone who is feeling like there has got to be something more in life or to anyone struggling with the question Who am I? What is this all about? – just take time to reflect – get Selfish. These exercises will help you understand what lights you up inside and hopefully bring more of that into the world and to the people you love.”
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