So how was your 2024? Are you ready for more 2024 in 2025 or instead eager to show 2024 out the door? Well, if 2024 left you really sore or even flat on the floor, then you may want to explore how best to recover from last year so that you can not only survive but thrive in 2025. Here are 10 steps that you can take to recover from a bad year:
1. Process what went wrong.
Don’t make this an out-of-sight-out-of-mind thing. Suppressing or repressing what happened last year can be like trying to hide a ferret in your pants. You’ll never know what it will end up grabbing and where it’s going to pop out when you least expect it. Instead, clearly list out what went wrong and why and discuss them with people you trust.
When you are making your list and checking it twice, don’t make this simply an everyone-else-has-been-really-naughty-while-you-were-so-nice list without accounting for how you may have contributed to each situation. Failing to recognize your role in at least allowing others to treat you like bleep may simply allow more such bleep to happen again in the future.
2. Forgive yourself and others.
Of course, recognizing how you contributed to bad situations doesn’t mean constantly looking in the mirror and saying, “Who stinks? You do, you do.” You are human and not a piece of avocado toast—meaning you are not perfect. As long as you make amends where possible and continue to improve yourself so that you don’t keep repeating the same mistakes, you can forgive yourself.
The same applies to others who may have wronged you. Instead of going all Simon Peter Gruber or Talia Al Ghul on them, why not forgive them? When people screw you over, often it’s more about their deficiencies than yours. For example, if a friend failed to be there for you when you needed him or her, that friend may have lacked the strength or foresight to help, as I described for Forbes in June 2024. Continuing to be angry and hold grudges can be like strapping a 40-pound fruitcake to your neck—a burden that can be nuts and hard to carry and stomach.
Of course, forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting. Once you realize that you cannot trust someone, don’t put yourself in a position where you have to trust that person again. After all, being kicked in your groin shouldn’t prompt you to say, “Hey, try that kick again. Maybe it will go better this time.” It may make sense to kick such relationships to the curb.
3. List out what went well and congratulate yourself.
OK, last year couldn’t have gone all bad, right? After all, even when you are in the middle of a downpour, at least you can save on skin moisturizer for the moment. Recall the highlights of the year—however seemingly small—and celebrate them. Maybe, for example, going through a tough year helped confirm who your true friends are, how resourceful you may be or how many, “This year sucks” memes you can find. At the very least, you can say that you survived the year.
4. Learn and grow from the year.
You know the acronym AFOG? It stands for “another f— opportunity for growth.” And, no, the “f “ here doesn’t stand for fandango or flatulent. While AFOG may sound like “a fog,” a tough year should bring clarity to a whole lot of things, helping you learn more about yourself and others and become a better person as a result. So, don’t waste such opportunities for growth. On the list of things that went wrong last year, put what you learned from each and what you are going to do differently going forward.
5. Establish new or firmer boundaries
Don’t let your life be like a children’s coloring book where your boundaries are not respected. Bad stuff can result when you allow the wrong people to do the wrong things to you. So make sure you let people around you know what they can and can’t do to you. When someone still doesn’t respect your boundaries, remember the joke that goes, “Why did the narcissist cross the road? Because he or she thought it was a boundary.” Consider telling that person to hit the road.
Establish boundaries for yourself too. For example, if the year included health struggles, then maybe you didn’t carve out enough time to get enough sleep, eat right, stay physically active—including both aerobic exercise and strength-training—and relax. Prioritize your well-being, which brings up the next step.
6. Practice self-care and compassion.
Take time to take care of yourself and be your own best friend and dream companion. Court yourself like you would any target of your affection. Heck you can even hit on yourself. Just don’t use cheesy pick-up lines in public or play hard to get. Do what you’ve always wanted to do.
If you’re in the habit of sacrificing for others, consider making yourself more of a priority in this coming year. Of course, if you do have narcissistic tendencies, you may want to do the opposite.
7. Make sure your support network and community are in place for 2025.
A bad year must have sucked in more ways than one, including some good ways. It could have sucked the covers off of people around you, revealing who is actually in your camp and who isn’t. If last year confirmed that you do indeed have a strong support network in place, congratulate yourself, thank that network and cherish it. If you found this network to be lacking in any way, shore it up and add to it.
That may mean seeking out new friends and colleagues. It also may consist of adding some professional help such as a therapist. Professionals can have skills, experience and expertise that your friends don’t have. They also may be more objective.
Don’t be afraid to appear vulnerable and ask for help. It’s your party and you can cry if you want to, as the song goes. Heck, crying can even help you physiologically, as I have detailed for Forbes previously. If others are going to avoid or take advantage of you under such circumstances, shed them like dirty underwear.
8. Make amends and course corrections.
Your life does not have autocorrect. So, you’ll have to put in the extra effort to fix what needs to be fixed. If you treated others like doo doo while under stress, do apologize to them and make amends. If the bad year made it clear that you’ve been on the wrong course in life, of course, course correct.
9. Establish reasonable plans and goals for the coming year.
A bad year may have left you leery of having any positive expectations of the coming year. After all, there’s that formula that happiness equals reality minus expectations, that I’ve covered for Psychology Today, right? But keeping expectations low does not necessarily mean having no plans or goals for the coming year.
I’ve written previously about how to make New Year’s resolutions that will actually stick. This entails setting goals that are more about the process than the outcomes—things that are under your control versus things that depend on other people and other stuff to fall in place. For example, you could set as a goal to marry Gal Gadot or Jason Mamoa but that would kind of require them to be, you know, interested in you and available. Instead, perhaps replace that goal with a more readily achievable one that could lead to what you want such as showering more than once a week, participating in more activities where you may meet someone special or maybe replacing all those sweater vests in your wardrobe.
10. Be patient and realize that life doesn’t necessarily follow calendar years.
Speaking of expectations, the dropping of the New Year’s Eve ball didn’t necessarily mean that all the bad stuff in your life will simply bounce away immediately. It may be 2024 all over again for a little while What happened in 2024 may pour into this year some more, maybe even well past Groundhog’s Day. But don’t assume that this year will necessarily be a repeat. Be patient. Stay optimistic and hopeful that things will change for the better.
In fact, you never know. A seemingly bad 2024 could have been the kick in the butt that you needed to change your life. Someone I know recently stressed the importance of going beyond post-traumatic stress into post-traumatic growth. In other words, once you recover from a bad year, you could up stronger and more resilient as a result. Sometimes the worst of times can turn out to be the best of times in the long run. You just have to give it some time.
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