It is assumed that discussions about sensitive topics, such as politics or religion, with individuals who hold differing viewpoints will inevitably lead to conflict. Such pessimistic expectations can deter us from having diverse conversations, especially with people we are just getting to know or are trying to form a connection with.
Yet a recent study published in Psychological Science found that conversations between disagreeing parties can be surprisingly positive. Researchers Kristina A. Wald from The Wharton School, alongside Mike Kardas from Oklahoma State University and Nick Epley from the University of Chicago, highlight that engaging in discussions, even amid disagreements, can uncover shared values, foster stronger connections and help bridge divides—challenging the common fear of conflict.
Here are three ways disagreements can lead to unexpectedly fruitful and affirming discussions:
1. Disagreements Strengthen Relationships
While it may seem counterintuitive, respectful disagreement can actually enhance relationships by building trust and understanding. It allows individuals to express themselves honestly, which can lead to deeper connections and more effective communication. Disagreements can spark meaningful conversations by encouraging constructive dialogue and engagement with each other’s ideas.
“People seem to fail to appreciate the social forces in conversations that create social connections. People, therefore, expect to disagree with others to be more hostile toward them than they actually are. This miscalibration leads to missed opportunities for social bonding and free expression,” share the researchers.
People’s avoidance of discussing disagreements is often based on incorrect assumptions about how these conversations will unfold. This avoidance prevents them from experiencing potentially positive and enriching interactions that could enhance social connections and understanding.
By avoiding conflict, we miss the chance for deeper discussions that reveal another person’s ideals and beliefs. Disagreements offer an opportunity to understand someone more profoundly rather than superficially. Instead of seeing disagreement as a threat, embrace it as a gateway to meaningful connection.
2. Disagreements Can Bridge Differences
Psychologically, when we disagree, we’re often motivated to adjust our social responses—being more thoughtful, careful and respectful in our communication. This process of adjustment helps create more constructive dialogue, where both parties feel heard and valued.
Constructive disagreement is when individuals with different viewpoints engage in discussions that challenge each other’s ideas in a respectful and open-minded way.
“People seem to underestimate the degree of common ground they have with those who disagree with them. That is, people seem to fail to take into account the fact that they may still agree on some aspects of an issue even if they have different positions on the issue as a whole. Conversation, in turn, tends to reveal those areas of common ground, fostering a deeper understanding between individuals,” they explain.
For instance, two people might hold opposing views on abortion—one is pro-choice, while the other is pro-life. Through conversation, however, they may discover that they both deeply care about the well-being of women and the protection of life. Even though they disagree on how these values should be balanced, recognizing these shared concerns can lead to a more respectful and empathetic dialogue.
Constructive disagreements also frequently uncover uncertainties or incorrect assumptions that people may not have been aware of before. This can help individuals address gaps in their understanding and refine their approach, leading to a meaningful discussion.
3. Disagreements Can Lead To Innovation
Constructive disagreement further leads to the exploration of new ideas that might not have been considered otherwise—fostering creativity and innovation.
When approached with an open mind, they have the potential to unlock valuable opportunities for creative problem-solving. Often, people avoid conversations involving disagreement due to preconceived notions of conflict or discomfort. However, engaging in these discussions can bring about fresh perspectives and uncover shared understanding, ultimately driving progress.
“Our findings suggest that people may be avoiding these conversations more often than they would if they had well-calibrated expectations of what the conversations would be like—suggesting that people may be missing out on opportunities to have informative and socially connective interactions,” explain the researchers.
This type of disagreement can be highly beneficial because it encourages people to think beyond their usual perspectives and consider alternative solutions. When disagreements are handled constructively, they can stimulate critical thinking, push boundaries and lead to the development of novel ideas.
This process can lead to breakthroughs that would not have emerged in a setting where everyone agrees or avoids conflict. In fields like science, business, or entrepreneurship, constructive disagreement is often a key driver of progress.
The next time you encounter a potentially divisive topic, instead of avoiding it, approach it with gentle curiosity. Explore the other person’s perspective and where it stems from—you might find yourself appreciating their viewpoint, even if you don’t agree.
Think you can handle constructive disagreements and embrace new experiences? Take the Openness to Experience Scale to find out.
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