According to Forbes contributor Sharissa Sebastian, CEO of Leadership Mastery Alliance, a study by Bravely outlined that 70% of employees are actively avoiding difficult conversations at work – and 53% of employees handling “toxic” situations simply by ignoring them.
Having difficult conversations is never easy, but when they don’t happen it is clear it results in declining employee engagement and trust in the organization everyone is working for. Of course having difficult conversations it hard for both parties involved, with probably being equally uncomfortable about tacking a tough topic in reality.
With mid-year reviews underway and an annual one loaming in the not-so-distant future, what is best practice for CMOs in having -and then navigating – difficult conversations when managing people in 2023?
Self-Awareness
According FinTech executive Julia Valentine, COO at data analytics and management firm AlphaMille, experienced managers need to gauge whether the difficult conversation is going to take place with a person who is lacking self-awareness or is potentially “aware-don’t care” in terms of their behavior.
Valentine: ”Self-awareness is knowing who we are and how we’re seen. Research shows it is in short supply: although 95% of people think they’re self-aware, only 10 to 15% actually are aware of how they come across. As such, going into a difficult conversation with someone who is unaware, who wants to be collaborative and effective, but doesn’t know how they are seen by others, requires a different strategy than preparing for a conversation with someone who is unapologetic about their behavior and can justify it with necessity.
According to Milan Kordestani, a serial entrepreneur and author of ‘I’m Just Saying: The Art of Civil Discourse: a Guide to Maintaining Courteous Communication in an Increasingly Divided World‘ managing difficult conversations is particularly challenging in a digital-first workplace, and requires CMOs to create a culture of low ego, experimentation, and vulnerability – where team members feel heard and valued; difficult conversations must be approached with honesty, clarity, and mutual respect:
Kordestani “CMOs should focus on finding common ground with the co-worker or junior employee, and respectfully listen to their perspectives. This is where principles of civil discourse come in, as it requires empathy, mutual respect, and a willingness to understand each other’s perspectives. They must recognize the unique strengths of each team member, like a conductor leading an orchestra, but at the same time hold team members accountable against metric-driven goals and ensuring ideal outcomes are understood and supported. Marketing is all about solving problems people didn’t know they had, and by creating a culture of empowerment, CMOs can drive marketing efforts that truly make a difference in people’s lives.”
According to Merilee Kern, MBA an internationally-regarded brand analyst and strategist, it is not good enough to just be competent – CMOs need to “master uncomfortable conversations”.
Kern: “As with cultivating any talent or craft, it takes time, concerted strategies and practice to master difficult discourse – and it can be more of an art than science. Disarming with colloquial dialogue is one key strategy that can diffuse an uncomfortable conversation. Do not always feel you need to get straight to the point. Validating the opposing points of view can also be a powerful strategy in mastering uncomfortable conversations. If you don’t agree with the opposition’s point of view, even simply acknowledging the other party’s firm beliefs in their position can put things on a better track. Brushing off opposing views as less important than yours or simply deeming them “wrong” does not facilitate healthy or constructive conversation — and it certainly won’t mitigate the malaise.”
Under Performance
Another difficult area for CMO’s is how to handle conversation with under-performing team members despite what may be a great attitude to work. Milan Kordestani believes handling conversations with under-performing team members requires CMOs to take a familiar ‘customer-centric’ approach, making it clear that they’re part of a team and their under-performance is affecting the ability to solve a problem for the collective end-user: “While disagreements are a natural part of the creative process, being stagnant to the point of under-performing indicates a lack of interest in growing with the team. CMOs should focus their difficult conversations on finding common ground, questioning to develop an understanding of which way the team member wants to grow in, and creating a shared understanding of how the individual can move forward with the rest of the team.”
According to Kern, CMOs must lean on fact-based discussion to back up their position during challenging conversations with under-performing team members “Figures, statistics, examples, precedents and other substantiated reference points can be difficult, but leading with a fact-based conversation will better assure you achieve and maintain significant influence in the interaction in a positive manner.
According to Valentine the key here is preparation and being clear on how proactive the employee has been in terms of gaining different perspectives, feedback and additional training – “the big questions are, is the person aware of their under-performance – and are they willing to change? Another big question is, are you the right person to have this conversation with them, in terms of your own communication style?”
Retaining Top Talent
Of course it is not just about managing under-performing or more difficult to deal with team members – CMO’s also often need to temper the ambition of their most ambitious members of the team to ensure they remain engaged.
According to Valentine the key to this is alignment of “personal, team and organizational goals with the team members’ values and needs”.
Kern believes ambition can sometimes come with a cost creating a “superstar paradox” with some overachievers sometimes sabotaging their own success: “CMOs would do well to practice overt empathy when a staffer seems stressed or overtly burned out. This requires understanding the other party’s thought process and experiences, as does vocalizing that you know “where they are coming from” … even if you do not necessarily personally relate to that given circumstance. Such vulnerability endears and fosters trust. Additionally, avoid making assumptions. Instead of suppositions as to why an otherwise ambitious team member might not be as engaged as normal, ask pointed questions to clarify. Be sensitive but direct in addressing your observations and convey that the team member can speak freely and candidly, without judgement, whether the issues at hand be workplace or personal in nature…or a combination of both.”
Kordestani believes fostering an environment of collaboration, transparency, and accountability is key to creating a culture of high-performance that values growth and development “to inspire high-performing team members to think beyond themselves, CMOs must remind them of the importance of serving the customer and the impact their work has on solving real-world problems – this helps team members to be inspired to achieve greatness as they are actually making a difference in people’s lives”
Summary
The key take outs for CMOs looking to improve how they handle difficult conversations are:
Valentine: “Understand the big picture, how your work fits into it, and how to adjust your communication style in a way that you can be heard.”
Kordestani: “Ultimately, creating a positive and engaging work environment requires CMOs to lead by example, demonstrating vulnerability, experimentation, and a willingness to fail.”
Kern: “Addressing employee burnout can be daunting for managers. However clarifying and understanding the common challenges that cause employee burnout is key.”
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