It can be tricky to attend work events when you don’t drink. Maybe one colleague won’t stop asking you to drink with them. Another might be a functioning alcoholic. You probably get invited to happy hours where you sit and watch your colleagues bond over drinks. Although you may feel discouraged, experts say there are ways to make work events easier for sober professionals.
Author Annie Grace is the founder and CEO of This Naked Mind, a science-based and compassion-led approach to recovery. She has plenty of experience attending work events without drinking. She started binge drinking every night partially due to stress from work. She admits she drank up to two bottles of wine a night at one point. After quitting alcohol herself, she decided to share how she did it.
On October 12, 2015 her book This Naked Mind was published. It is still an Amazon bestseller almost ten years later. After it was released she started to get a following on social media. What started as a book turned into one of the most impactful recovery programs in the United States. There is even an app to join This Naked Mind. According to Grace, the recovery space has nearly 100,000 members.
Forbes spoke with Annie Grace about a few ways to approach work events when you don’t drink.
Have A Substitute
One of the best ways to handle work events when you are sober is to have a substitute that looks like alcohol. As someone in recovery myself, I always carry sprite with a lime, which looks like a vodka tonic. Every time my peers want to get another round I order something fizzy with a lime. And Grace does the same.
“There’s a word in alcohol called speed bumps— that feeling you can chug it. Ginger ale does the same thing— the fuzzies. If you have a coke just guzzle it down and all of the sudden it’s empty,” she says.
It’s important to have a substitute with you, whether it’s a happy hour with colleagues or celebrating work-related accomplishments at the office. Ordering something alcohol-free with a lime can alleviate pressure you feel to always drink when socializing.
Drop Expectations
You may go into work gatherings thinking it is going to be awful to be around people who are drinking. However, being sober in professional settings is an asset. You are more focused on the work aspect of events rather than blowing off steam with alcohol.
Use happy hours and holiday parties as an opportunity to network. Make sure to ask people about themselves. It can be hard not to feel excluded when going to restaurants or bars where people are drinking.
“Usually when we’re going into a situation we have all this, this is going to be boring, I don’t know how to network. All of these things come true,” Grace says. “You just say, I don’t know how this is going to be. I actually don’t know. I’m going to look at my life. I’m going to look at the next three hours as an experiment, as if I was in a white coat and I’m the observer,” she says.
Give A Reason
Providing a reason as to why you aren’t drinking can avoid being bombarded with questions. Work gatherings are not the place to discuss the intimate details of your recovery. Instead, have a reason ready before heading out with coworkers.
Grace recommends you say something like “tonight I’m just kind of taking it easy so I’m going to get an iced tea,’ she says. ‘Early on when you get pressured giving a reason is really helpful.”
Telling people a reason you don’t drink also helps you avoid being judged. The word alcoholic comes with serious stigma and your colleagues may perpetuate stereotypes about addiction without even realizing. Maybe a coworker refers to themself as a “news junkie” or says things like “I’m such an alcoholic” after having a drink or two. These statements are disrespectful to people in recovery.
If you, a loved one, or a coworker are struggling with substance abuse, call the American Addiction Centers and find rehabilitation centers and sober living options near you.
And remember, quitting alcohol can be isolating. You probably don’t get invited to parties or trips that revolve around sampling different types of alcohol. If you follow Annie Grace’s suggestions you may find that not drinking will help you advance in your career.
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