Ross Overline, CEO & Co-Founder, Scholars of Finance.
We disagree on so much today. The public sphere and news networks are full of tribal narratives—us vs. them—leaving many of us wondering if our ability to communicate as a society is breaking down. However, I think there are two things we can all agree on, and communication is key for success in both. First, as individuals, we all want to “live the good life,” a life of joy, love, peace, health, prosperity and close relationships. Secondly, as members of teams and companies, we want to succeed together. We want to win or make an impact. Both require us to communicate with integrity and courage.
Courageously communicating with integrity isn’t simply telling someone what you think, and the vitriolic, hateful speech that we see on both sides of the political spectrum today is not an example of it either. Courageously communicating with integrity has several hallmarks.
Integrity means we say exactly what we think and feel without withholding or repressing thoughts or feelings. It looks like transparency and is often referred to as authenticity or “being real.” It’s when our speech is in unity with our true thoughts and feelings.
One hears this and readily acknowledges that there is value in timing, tact and measuring disclosure in some cases. However, after 10 years in business and running a community of 2,000+ members, I’ve spent thousands of hours leading and communicating with a large and diverse range of people, from FGLI college students to C-suite executives at top investment firms. And I’ve come to believe that we under-disclose. We hold back more than we need to, and far too often, we don’t share precisely what we think and feel—to the detriment of ourselves and our teams.
For example, say you present an idea to your boss, and you do it well. You lay out your rationale point by point. You have strong research and logic. You expect an easy win, but your boss comes back with multiple concerns, questions about your logic and still thinks the team should take a different course. At this point, many people give up. Maybe they disagree and commit. However, had they replied to their boss’ initial reaction with further logic and research, they may have changed their mind and led the team to make the best decision.
I’ve done both many times in my career, and as a CEO, I’ve been the boss in both situations, too. From my experience, speaking up is almost always the better path. Think about how you have felt when you’ve spoken up versus when you’ve withheld. We are better able to thrive when we can fully express ourselves, regardless of the impact on the team’s decision.
You might be thinking, “But I’ve seen people push too hard, die on the wrong hill or even put their career at risk by speaking up.” This is where courage comes in.
Courage is not the absence of fear, it is acting despite fear or in the face of fear. Our amygdalas (the emotional center of our brains)—informed by the movies we watch, the conflict we saw around us growing up or even trauma for some—are wired to protect us from danger and minimize risks. And this includes interpersonal risk. However, for so many of us, the fear is misplaced and extends well beyond protecting us from actual danger or risk. We see risks and dangers where there actually aren’t any, or we overestimate the risks materially.
As a CEO for more than three years now, I can say with 100% certainty that I have never gotten upset with an employee of mine for advocating for what they think is best. I’ve been frustrated when people speak in veiled terms, expect me to read between the lines or engage in any form of unproductive behavior (getting upset, being close-minded, lacking curiosity, etc.). And in my own career, I have seen many people reward for speaking up, including me.
On the off chance that speaking up does result in some negative impact, that’s an important signal that you’re in the wrong place or working with the wrong people. If you aren’t being belligerent or insensitive, you may be in an environment of stifling power dynamics. And let me assure you, there are companies and cultures where your ideas would be welcomed by all, regardless of seniority or function.
These principles extend far beyond work. They extend into our homes, our social relationships and even our encounters with strangers. While there may be a lot we disagree on, let’s agree to have integrity, be courageous and talk to each other. If we courageously communicate with integrity, we thrive because we are not repressing emotions or ideas. Instead, we are fully known, making the most impact we can and letting our voice be heard—and that also helps us get our needs met. When we do this within our teams, we help sharpen decisions, support our teammates and we end up going further, together.
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